This should be interesting. See, if you've been around the past few days I have admitted as much as I love Wimbledon I am not very good with remembering how tennis works. Because of this, I am going to apologise in advance if today's Wimbledon thread seems extremely bizarre. Nevertheless, Day 4 have arrived and what a day tennis fans were treated too yesterday as well as some of the tricks up their very short sleeves today! Well in their pockets really because that's where they seem to store their spare tennis balls they quite blatently stole from the Pringles-esque tubes in JJB Sports. But yes, tennis tennis tennis!
Coming down with a case of rackets
Tennis is pretty confusing. I'm sure there are the proper fans out there who watch every Grand Slam tournament and are like 'You're crazy, stop being crazy" but it's true. Yesterday I got home from Wimbledon and sat down, and first of all, I was amazed that the match on TV was on Court 18. 18!!!! That's 16 more than I thought Wimbledon even had! Sure, it had the Centre Court with the new Roof and the other Centre Court that I assume is called Just Off The Centre Court, but it has lots of little mini courts! Obviously these are normal size and not miniature things like Crazy Golf, although Crazy Tennis would be spectacularly profound.
Also, I don't understand how the Crouching People (I got told yesterday they were called Line Judges) manage to stand there for 20 hours with their backs positioned like that. They're bend down staring at a line for so long, and then sometimes the tennis man hits a serve and it smashes them in the stomach unless they dive out the way like a goalkeeper. But they don't! They just stand there and, quite simply, take it like a boxer. That is dedication, folks. You don't get that in football, you'll get linesmen jumping out the way and hiding behind a flag but Crouching People proper take it full on. Kudos to you, posh suited crouching people. I also couldn't help but wonder if the Umpires do lifeguard work outside of the Wimbledon Cup because they're up on their perches that you'd think they'd make excellent lifeguards at the local leisure centre watching over the swimming pool. That's all tennis is really - swimming with more grass, and a racket and a net... fair enough, they're not similar whatsoever. Do swimming competitions have lifeguards or umpires? Other quick tennis tidbits I can't help but wonder:
- How come people only seem to eat strawberries at Wimbledon? Were they originally grown in Wimbledon's Centre Court?
- Does Sue Barker come out of hiberntion for Wimbledon? Part of me is convinced that a year's sport is scheduled and scripted so she can do a year's worth of Question of Sport whilst presenting Wimbledon, then she hibernates and recharges for a year.
- Why did Greg Rusedski and Tin Henman have to retire? They were my favourite British players, especially considering Greg wasn't even British. That must've have been an odd decision, choosing a country notorious for Wimbledon failure.
- Is it legal to allow Brian Blessed to referee a tennis game considering his epic screaming voice? DEEUUUCCEE!!!
- Are people banned from using wooden tennis bats? They look so retro and awesome! It's all about shiny and aerodynamic these days, it's just a bat!! Ping pong bats are still wooden, so...
Anyways, I digress, we are here to womble about Wimbledon!!
I'm gonna be tennis-ing you tonight, big tie break!
You guys all surely know about yesterdays events, or should I say, event. I am of course talking about when I found out Andy Murray has a brother called Jamie Murray. Surely someone just cloned Andy Murray and called him Jamie? Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it. In all seriousness, the big news yesterday in Womble-Wimbledon was the, quite simple, epic encounter between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut that, as I type this up, had been suspended play for the evening (or, far simpler, stopped) after a quite staggering 10 hours of play including the final set being a 7 hour set that is currently at 59-59. They have played about a squajillion serving superhits (aces?) and some awesome awful shots because they played for so long yesterday and were just totally exhausted, poor guys. I know how they feel, on Virtua Tennis it once took me half an hour to beat Pete Sampras on easy mode. SAMPRAS!! *shakes fist*
But there was much more going on yesterday apart from the Court 18 (Upon further inspection there are N-N-N-N-N-NINETEEN COURTS!!! Who owns 19 courts?!!) epicosity. For example, a fine fellow from Switzerland known as Roger Federer qualified for the next round of Wimbledon beating someone called Ilija Bozoljac (And we thought Fantasy Racers was bad) as well as other qualifiers for the next round including Justine Henin, Andy Roddick and Venus Williams. Have Venus and Serena ever played each other? I think they would have a good match with Sir Frank Williams as the referee/umpire for the match at the Williams Conference centre with Robbie Williams performing at half time in the tennis. It could be a big Williams launch event! There were, of course, lots of other games going on but everyone basically forgot about them and went to watch the epic match of epicness that we all hope will finish sometime this year. If you want more info I suggest the BBC's Wimbledon section and the ultra posh Wimbledon website as it's 100x more useful that my attempt to be that tennis guy off GMTV.
Here's todays contestants in the Wimbledon show
On a quick side note, I keep typing Wimbledone. It's quite annoying, especially when it's not done yet at all.
I've been taking a considering gander at today's scheduled play at Wimbledon and my goodness, there is quite a lot going on isn't there? It's like a human bus timetable! There are some key names I noticed when going through. Andy Murray (the proper Andy, not his clone Jamie) will be playing a Finnish guy called Jarrko Neimeienme, so good luck Andy! Come on Tim!!! Rafael Nadal will be in action too maybe, so there's a big plus for all the Nadal fans. I forgot his name was Rafa but now I remember because of Rafael Benitez, the
Liverpool Inter Milan football team manager. It's because they're both called Rafa. Alas, one of them definitely knows what to do and has a taste for winning but at times seems incapable of overcoming the bigger dogs in his sport. The other one is a tennis player. Ahem.
There is someone called Jo-Wilfried Tsonga there and I wanted to mention him because that is an awesome name. Also, he has a  next to his name and Lou mentioned a few players yesterday with these numbers. I think they mean a) their world ranking b) how awesome they are out of 100 or c) their number for... something. Google has told me that it means their seeding. That is excellent. So Jo is seeding 10... something tomorrow, go Jo!! My simple mind is very amused by the fact that Fake Murray (Jamie) will be teaming up with a guy called Jonathon Marray in a tag team tennis match! Marray and Murray! Awesome!
But there are lots and lots of matches occuring today, including that certain 10 hour battle I may have mentioned continuing today... so watch them and enjoy those lush green pitches, the king-like chairs for the umpires and John McEnroe's intriguingly receding hairline throughout today's coverage my friends!
Although Wimbledon definitely #needsmoregredrusedski.