Is this competition still going? After a two day break from football, I'd given up and moved on with my life. Much like a 19 race Grand Prix calendar, this World Cup is beginning to outstay its welcome by an event or three.
I'm a great believer in breaking things down to their most vital components and throwing away any excess. Therefore having watched a penalty shootout the other day, I conclude football could be a lot more entertaining if they simply dispensed with all that 90 minute kick about thing, and got straight on with shooting balls at the goal keeper.
Much in the same way that Formula 1 could be improved if everyone just admitted the first lap is the only one that anybody overtakes on, and thus go straight from lap one to the final lap, before a champagne celebration on the podium. The enjoyment factor would still be the same, and 90 minutes of thumb twiddling could be eradicated from our busy schedules.
Imagine how productive business could be if sports fans got their weekly dose of action in 240 second bursts or less? Someone should introduce a Speed Sporting channel, a concept not dissimilar to speed dating, but where fans spend no more than 60 seconds on any single sport before moving onto something better looking.
In the short term, we're stuck with the old way of playing and watching the game. There are two matches today, if both go into extra time, that's four hours worth of passing to sit through. Just saying.
- Netherlands v Brazil - 15:00 (GMT+1)
- Uruguay v Ghana - 19:30 (GMT+1)
Sadly I don't have time to watch any of the above, I'm meant to be watching cars climbing a hill, repeatedly.