It's a weekend off from the adrenaline-pumping, blood-pressure-raising, edge-of-seat-wearing season of motor racing we've been gifted this year. But don't think everything's gone quiet because there's quite a bit you should be paying attention to out there in the big bad world.
This Weekend In F1
- Bahrain Slotted back into the Calendar: The FIA have agreed to take the less-than-enthusiastic F1 world for a race in the politically heated kingdom of Bahrain after the season opening even was postponed due to civil unrest. I'm not sure it's my place to make too much of an opinion on it, but let's say I'm not a fan!
- Senna Movie Released in the UK: After months of feverous waiting from racing and film enthusiasts, the Senna docufilm is now on general release in the UK (international readers, check out your local release periods). By the time you read this,
I'll have been lucky enough to have caught it and will let you know how I feelI have totally seen it and it's amazing and it brought a tear to my eye*. Experts predict this will lead to more motoring biopics, with Adam Sandler lined up to play F1 legend Taki Inoue.
- Massa Hopes to Continue Momentum: Felipe Massa has worried his Ferrari team that he is suffering lingering side effects from his head injury sustained in Hungary two years ago, after he claimed he was hoping his momentum continued. Massas latest results have been 6th, 11th, Retirement, Crash. If the momentum continues, computer models predict his next results will be DNF, DNQ, Steps-out-of-his-private-jet-before-they-wheel-out-the-stairs.
This Time Last Year
- Red Bull in Crisis Talks: The Red Bull team organised an emergency meeting between the management and their drivers after the fierce rivalry exploded on track in a collision between Sebastien Vettel and Mark Webber at the Turkish Grand Prix. "The two drivers do not need to go out for dinner with each other, but they must cooperate," said Helmut Marko, a few days after insisting that Webber was an idiot for letting Vettel crash into him.
- Force India Take Action Against Lotus : Force India have proceeded in legal action against Lotus, specifically arguing that Mike Gascoyne stole precious FIF1 design secrets to the naissant team in his head. Given the evidence that the Force India performance isn't too far removed from the Lotus on track, Vijay Mallya may have a strong case. Expect the courts to haul Gascoyne into an MRI machine sometime soon.
This Time Next Year
- Bernie Announces Super Korea 2013: Bernie Ecclestone has announced a 'Super Korea' circuit for 2013. The 6.2 Km, Tilke designed circuit will actually loop back and forth over the border between North and South Korea. "You can charge a higher fee if you can get two governments to share the costs," noted Ecclestone.
- FIA to Introduce Traffic Lights, Corner Shops: As part of their continuing effort to keep F1 "road relevant", the FIA have announced that they are to introduce traffic lights and corner shops to all circuits from next year. "All road drivers have to contend with constantly stopping at red lights, and the lack of traffic lights in F1 makes its existence as a sport ever more out of touch with Mondeo Man." In keeping with road-relevancy, each driver will be required to pick up 2 pints of milk, a loaf of bread and a copy of The Sun over the course of the race. Jean Todt has expressed an interest in the drivers "picking up their kids from school" from 2014 onwards.
- Honda Returning to F1: Honda have announced a surprise return to F1 - not as a racing team or engine supplier, but as the designer of the robot body that will sustain Bernie Ecclestone for the rest of time itself. "Honda has prided itself in being the world leader in robotics and we are proud to be able to demonstrate our abilities once again in F1." Asumi-san, the lead engineer has stated that the biggest technical achievement was overcoming the extreme centre-of-mass problems brought forth by Mr Ecclestone's massive ego. "We solved the problem by putting his wallet in his shoe," Asumi-san noted.
*That's tear, rhyming with fear, not tear rhyming with hair. The latter would be horrific.