Sometimes I tell people I'm the guy who manages three out of four of the Saturdays, and the say to me, 'You are one lucky geeza, them girls are well fit, innit. But ain't there five of 'em?'
And I say to them, 'Haha, no sir - not the sequoia-legged, plastic-pop superstars, the Sidepodcast dailies!'
And they say, 'If I were a Saturday, I'd be Frankie Sandford, innit.'
So would I, hypothetical conversation partner. So would I.
This Week In F1
- Webber super, super definitely, we're-not-even-joking, for sure staying with Red Bull: This past week, the executives at Red Bull have been desperate to state how certain they are that Webber is to stay with the team, batting away rumours about a young Daniel Ricciardo, Lewis Hamilton and even Kimi Raikkonen. Now even Dietrich Mateschitz himself has stepped up to say how little doubt he bears in Webber's continuation. Sounds like a good bargaining chip to negotiate with the long queue of drivers hungry for that no. 2 seat.
- "There are no good Indian team bosses": Karun Chandhok and Narain Kartikeyan answered critics who chastised them for not driving for an Indian team.
'For sure, I'd love to drive for an Indian team,' said Kartikeyan. 'But I can't just join Force India because they are Indian - I need to think of my career.'
'The fact of the matter is, Vijay Mallya is not a real racing boss,' added Chandhok. 'He's only in the sport because he's got the money to be here, but I need a real team boss. You don't see Alonso driving for HRT just because they are Spanish, do you? No.'
This Time Last Year
- Petrov's career "in his own hands": Following a competitive, but inconsistent start to the season fro Russia's first F1 pilot, Vitaly Petrov, Renault boss, Eric Boullier has stated that the rookie's career is 'in his own hands.' Little would he know that his career would actually be in the hands - or lack thereof - of his team mate, Kubica.
What? What?. Too soon?
This Time Five Years Ago
- Kubica Tops Time Sheets: BMW Sauber third driver, Robert Kubica, has topped the timesheets for Friday practice for the French GP (the what?). On the only day of the weekend when third drivers are allowed to test alongside the two lead drivers (they can do what now?), Robert was the fastest of the reserves, including Anthony Davidson (the radio guy?), Neel Jani (anagram of Ninja Eel?), Sakon Yamamoto (a motorbike?) and Robert Doornbos (who?).
This Time Next Year
- FIA ban Japanese Drivers: 'Japanese drivers will be banned from F1 from immediate effect,' stated an FIA press conference, released today. Countering claims that the FIA are damage-limiting a season that has been utterly dominated by Red Bull's Kamui Kobayashi, the press release states: 'Japan is situated, on average, the farthest distance from the majority of the race tracks. This creates a massive carbon footprint, which is completely against what the FIA is trying to achieve.'
Kamui retorted, 'But I live in Milton Key-'
'Our decision is final,' the press release interrupted.
- Future Tweeting:
Just arriving at the Nurburgring. I think we're going to have a wet weekend! #F1
I think I must be the first one here. Like a ghost town, tis, tis. #F1
@EddieJordan_F1 We're at Hockenheim, you great numpty!
@tedkravitz I need a massive favour.
If you want to see a concept-final outline of the above comic, click here.
Be aware, only Jake Humphrey & Ted Kravitz have real twitter accounts.