Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooood morning, afternoon or evening ladies and gentlemen. As Lukeh is elsewhere this can mean only one thing, I have returned! *cue expected audience cheering and applause*
Thank you, thank you, you can stop now, I insist.
And since I have control of your Fridays (in a strange sort of way), I shall now explain to you why you should bring down your British flags from the attic, hoist them around your shoulders, wave them in the air, and shout, be proud of where you come from, because you should be, this is a fine and fantastic country, even the south, compared to the rest of the world. And this is why you should be proud for the next week.
Unless you are not from Britain of course, in which case, be proud of where you come from, it is probably better than somewhere else.
First, without doubt, there is simply no question about this, is the Speedway World Cup. The World Cup starts on Saturday with Germany, Sweden, Denmark and Australia. Great Britain, featuring the five lions of Chris Harris, Scott Nicholls, Tai Woffinden, Edward Kennett and Ben Barker, face off against Poland, Russia and the Czech Republic on Monday night. If the gallant Brits fail to win their semi final, they will head off to the race-off on Thursday night. If they make it to the final, it will take place next Saturday in Gorzow, where they will fight and battle to finish in a brilliant fourth place (out of four). (Of course the final will still take place if Great Britain don't make it, but they will).
Then, who can deny we should all be watching England Womens play France Womens in Leverkusen, as the English, led by the heroic Faye White, optimism and belief is strong. Victories over New Zealand and Japan saw them top a tough and difficult to navigate group and avoid the danger and evil that is Germany. Play kicks off on Saturday at 5pm (BBC Red Button for those in the UK, shockingly enough), and watch to cheer them on! (Before they lose the the United States).
Thirdly, we can't forget that in a week's time, the greatest golf tournament of them all, the Open Championship will begin in Sandwich, Kent. With Tiger Woods missing, who will once again step up? Can Rory McIlroy continue to show his talent? Will Lee Westwood get his first major? When will Sergio Garcia find his putting? Be proud of the links course showing up the shock results, surprise winners, in 2003, the unknown Ben Curtis came from nowhere to win at the course, who will be this years Oosthuizen? (Quite probably Alexandre Rocha, this is his time darn it).
Fourthly, taking a look at the leaderboard of the Tour de France and you will see three Brits inside the top 10, David Millar is in 4th, Bradley Wiggins in 6th and Geraint Thomas in 7th. Can they improve and try and claim the famed yellow jersey? Of course they will, they are brave, British heroes. It is on all week and watch to see how the fantastic riders carry on around France. (Before Alberto Contador goes on to win).
Finally, well, just some Formula 1 going on at Silverstone. Not that important, few supremely talented British drivers going around in circles, Lewis Hamilton, Jenson Button and Paul di Resta. I suppose you can push it since technically Mark Webber and Daniel Ricciardo are ours as well. If you want to extend the flag a bit with a bit of blue cloth and some stars. That's there too, big up the Brits, be happy we have such a fantastic circuit in Britain. (Right before they all spin out in the rain).
So where are your British flags my friends? There is no time to waste. (And if you fancy supporting Chile in the Copa America as well... too much?)