Ladies and Gentlemen, so begins one of the best weeks on the sporting calendar. Oh my word, it is impossible not to love it. There's something for everyone, some say it may even be too much, but you know what, I don't care. So I hear you say, what makes the week starting on 4th April so darn awesome, well...
- Formula 1 is in Malaysia. Will Vettel be dominant again? Can Ferrari find some pace? Will Hispania actually qualify?
- IndyCar from Alabama. Will Franchitti get 2 out of 2? Will Sato finally do the inevitable and crash?
- NASCAR from Texas. Thats a bit meh to be honest.
- Champions League Quarter Finals. Can Tottenham do the unthinkable in Madrid? Can Schalke do anything in Milan? How many will Barca win by? Who is better between Manchester United and Chelsea?
- Masters from Augusta. Will Mickleson keep the green jacket? Can any of the Europeans get the glory? Will Tiger make the cut? Can I stay awake until early Monday morning on a school night to watch it all?
- The Grand National in Aintree. Who'll get who in the sweepstakes? Can Don't Push It push it? Will anyones teeth be shown again?
- Start of the Indian Premier League in, er, India. Can those cricketers hit some sixes? Will they come to the conclusion that all they ever seemingly do is play cricket? Will anyone care after four weeks after just realising its only cricket?
- End of the NHL in North America. Who will get into the playoffs? Will anyone on Sidepodcast really care?
And breathe. That is just astronomical, full of awesomeness and realisation there is little chance of me getting much done this week. Stupid sport. So what else is happening in the past 24 hours?
Formula 1... oh have a guess.
In MotoGP there was a fantastic race in wet conditions in Barcelona, with Jorge Lorenzo ultimately coming out on top. There were a few spills along the way and no doubt plenty of drama. Elsewhere there was the start of the BTCC and probably some NASCAR too, to the happiness of football writer Jonathan Wilson.
Speaking of said sport which goes round and round, Kimi Raikkonen is actually racing in it this season, with his ultimate aim of competing in every top level racing series around the world by 2015 (Poole Pirates for 2013, I tells ya).
In football, Spurs continue to have run ins with a cow and a barn door, Manchester United look just too good, Arsenal bottle it... again and other results happened. In shocking and unprecedented news, Jose Mourinho lost a game at home, this comes after 150 games and over nine years of league games without defeat, covering teams such as Porto, Chelsea, Inter Milan and Real Madrid. Whitley Bay are in the FA Vase Final for the third year in a row (but their U17s came to an unexpected 1-0 defeat to the hands of my team). And in 'Yes that Actually Did Happen, This Isn't Fake and Totally Real' moment of the week, a statue of Michael Jackson was unveiled outside of Craven Cottage, the home of football team Fulham, and to make matters even stupider, its totally rubbish.
In the sport of cricket, they actually finished the World Cup!!! Sensational scenes could be found in India after 6 long weeks the cricket was finally over and no longer on the television screens. At least, thats what I thought they were cheering about, surely it wasn't because they had won it?
In other British stuff, Nottingham Panthers won the Elite League Ice Hockey. Speedway finally got under way after a long winter of disputes and arguments and greed which makes Bernie Ecclestone seem like a generous, charitable figure.
And in Sidepodcast stuff, do check out the latest bundle of Big Pictures, including one of everyone's new hero Sergio Perez (cue failures at the next few races). Of course Giggles Radio was back in style with 1982, only two more years until I can make a George Orwell joke. And a look at the new F1 timing app which you can use on your iPads, which for some reason people want to actually buy.
So, that is Monday. Enjoy Monday. Monday is cool if you are cool with it.