Can you believe it. This time next week you will know the result of the Australian Grand Prix. You will see how the extraordinarily talented Timo Glock gets Marussia Virgin's first ever point, a spectacular crash which takes out half the field leaving Sergio Perez to gain a debut win.
If you are asking why I didn't say Kobayashi will win, well, lets be honest here, a spectacular crash will involve him somehow.
On with the daily.
Bluffer: Llllllaaaaaaaaaaadies and gentlemen, welcome to the Sidepodcast Arena, Rockall, for the chance to become the SBA Chaaaaampion of the World. In association with Red Nose Productions and Crash Ice Promotions, we are pleased to present our main event. After successes for the Bib against Mario Ballotelli, and the knockout of England from Ireland, lets get this show on the road. In the yellow corner, hailing from Miiiiiiilan, Italy, Piiiiiiiiiiirellllliiiiii.
[Entrance is reliant on lights, with several different colours, red, yellow, white, orange for example focusing on Pirelli, it strolls down composed, before getting worn out before it's reached the ropes and requiring a change]
Rowling: Well, Punce, this one looks weak on paper, I honestly can't see this lasting long.
Punce: He's gonna get Stoner-ed here, it's pointless trying, the guy he's up against is undefeated in almost a billion bouts, he can make a match up that looks like a brawl into something which lasts less than two rounds.
Rowling: Back to Bluffer.
Bluffer: Aaaaaand in the red corner, hailing from Brain, Your Body, the undefeated, SBA Chaaaaaaaaampion of the Woooooooooorld, Common Seeeeeeeeeeeeense.
[Entrance is full of style, he struts his stuff with fireworks either side as he walks past, to his side are two rather good looking girls, behind him people on unicycles are juggling with fire while an elephant sings the intro music of 'I Am the One and Only']
Rowling: This kid looks brilliant.
Punce: Oh I love him. He's Giggling here, on the weigh in, on the interviews on TV and Radio, this boy has got it in the bag and he knows it, Pirelli knows it, frankly, the whole arena knows it.
Bluffer: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you 12 rounds of boxing at the highest standard, here we go, lllllllleeeeeeeeets get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuumblllleeee.
Rowling: So they touch gloves and we are off, Pirelli goes in for a quick start, jab lands on the gloves, Common Sense is jibing him, telling him its not going to work, he tries a multitude of options now Pirelli, going for the same, that looked the same, Common Sense thinks the same, he's got him on the ropes now, Common Sense is battering him, Pirelli can't hold up much longer and it is down, down, down. The ref counts 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. No signs of life. 9. 10. Pirelli are out, Common Sense maintains his unbeaten run, and he is happy. Fist pump to the crowd, easier than Solis, easier than Khan. Thank you and goodnight says he.
Bluffer: Maintaining his SBA Championship, the reigning and undesputed Chaaaaaampion of the World, Commmon Sense!